10 Ways to Teach Children Social Skills

As a parent of three (now adults), I know how much kids soak up from the way we talk to them and others. Those early years are massive. It’s tough when you’re answering the 40th “why” in 10 minutes, but shrugging them off or ignoring them can have lasting effects. Engaging in real conversations, giving full answers, and encouraging them to do the same makes a huge difference. The better they can explain themselves, the easier life becomes, for them, for you, and for everyone they interact with (just ask their teachers).

Talking is a big part of social skills, and kids learn best by practicing. By having regular conversations, you can help them understand how to talk to teachers, classmates, and family members. Turn it into a fun game, ask questions, and see if they can come up with the right response for different situations. The more they practice, the more confident and comfortable they’ll become in conversations.

Related: Why Teaching Social Skills to Kids Matters More Than You Think

Ever wonder why your kid ignores you, shrugs off your questions, or turns away instead of answering? Think back, how do they get treated when they ask for things? If they often hear “No,” “Stop asking,” or just get ignored, they’re likely mirroring that behavior. Kids are sponges, soaking up what they see and experience.

It’s not just about what your child does, they also need to understand the body language of others. A frown, teary eyes, a forced smile, or crossed arms all send signals. Helping them recognize these cues can prevent misunderstandings, and potentially even prevent making scenes in public places. I learned this the hard way, and for years, I paid the price. It was a learned behavior that took a long time to break.

That’s why it’s so important to help kids understand not just what their actions mean, but how others’ body language reflects their feelings. Talk to your child about these cues in a simple way. Ask them what they think crossed arms mean or how someone looks when they’re upset. Helping them understand these non-verbal cues will make them more aware and socially skilled.

If you’ve ever had a child who struggles to make friends, it’s heartbreaking. I’ve been there. My youngest had a big age gap with their sibling, which meant they were almost like an only child in many ways. Making friends didn’t come naturally, and for months, we worried. But once we actively showed her how to share and be friendly about it, things changed. She started forming connections, and some of those early school-day worries began to fade.

Sharing is one of the easiest ways for kids to bond with others. While they should understand that some personal items are theirs to keep private, things like toys, markers, or classroom supplies are meant to be shared. Some kids grasp this quickly, especially if they have siblings close in age, but for others, it takes practice. Encouraging your child to share and showing them how it helps build friendships can make a world of difference in their social life.

I’ll be honest, I completely failed at this one with all my kids. I didn’t even realize how important it was until looking back, and through luck more than parenting, they all turned out fine. But now, seeing it in my grandkids, I know how much of a difference it makes. I’ve mentioned it to their parents (my kids), and the change I’ve seen, especially in my granddaughter, is shocking. When your child looks at you face to face, not only do they listen and understand you better, but their own communication becomes clearer. Try comparing a proper face-to-face chat with your child to a passing conversation, it’s night and day.

Eye contact is a key part of good social skills. It shows engagement, respect, and that you genuinely care about what the other person is saying. Just like practicing conversations, you can help your child get comfortable with eye contact by making it a fun and natural part of your interactions. The earlier they learn this, the more confident they’ll become in conversations throughout life.

When my daughter was about 14, she had friends over, and I watched them all sit there, glued to their phones, texting each other while in the same room. I didn’t get it then, and honestly, I still don’t. That’s just modern life. But here’s the thing: texting isn’t real writing. It’s abbreviations and shortcuts. What kids really need is a way to express themselves through words, and writing is a fantastic tool for that.

Here’s the catch, it doesn’t have to be anything complex. just writing a birthday card, a present tag, or even a thank you note for a birthday invitation can help them connect their feelings to communication. And trust me, the first time your child writes a heartfelt “thank you” in a card, makes the decades of hard parenting work (which it absolutely is) feel worthwhile.

Writing might seem outdated, but it’s a great way to build social skills. It teaches kids how to offer congratulations, condolences, or encouragement in a meaningful way. Whether they write to a friend, a family member, or a teacher, it helps them develop empathy and thoughtfulness. Plus, it’s a skill that will serve them well for life.

If you’re wondering how to actually teach communication skills in a way that sticks, the answer is simple, play games with your kid. Whether it’s pretending to go on an adventure around the house or turning grocery shopping into a treasure hunt, these little moments are golden opportunities. And for parents, trust me, turning a stressful shopping trip into a game is a lifesaver. It’s far better than standing in an aisle, locked in a battle of wills, while your child screams. Oh boy, those tantrums can be soul-destroying. No one wants to be that parent in the store.

Roleplaying is a great way to help kids develop social skills in a natural, fun way. Many children already play “doctor” or “house” with friends or siblings, you’re just taking it one step further by weaving in real-life communication skills. Whether practicing how to ask for help, order food, or introduce themselves, these small roleplaying exercises can build confidence and prepare them for real-world interactions.

Also Read: 7 Ways to Bring Family Together at the Dinner Table

This is the second one on this list that I completely failed at. Whether it was getting way too competitive during Monopoly or sulking when my sports teams lost, I was never the best at promoting teamwork. Thankfully, my wife is far less of a diva about it. Her golden rule is to put your ego to one side and focus on the end goal. That’s my takeaway from her explanation to me while I was writing this, and honestly, it makes perfect sense. As a parent, your job is to set a goal and then help your kids achieve it, whether that’s winning a game, finishing a project, or simply working well with others.

Teamwork is a huge part of social skills because life constantly requires cooperation. A great way to teach this if you’re like me, is through sports or extracurricular activities where kids have to work as part of a group. Not only will they make friends, but they’ll also learn how to contribute, listen, and support others. The earlier they learn this, the better they’ll handle teamwork in school, work, and life.

As mentioned earlier, kids soak up everything around them, and keeping your bad behaviors private is essential (but let’s be real, it’s tough). We’ve all heard a friend or family member say, “You won’t believe what my kid said last night” followed by something rude or completely outlandish. And then they wonder where their child picked it up from. Well, kids don’t just make this stuff up, they’ve learned it somewhere.

That’s one of the biggest challenges of parenting: keeping your child safe not just from physical harm, but from behaviors that could harm their social development. Unfortunately, you can’t wrap them in bubble wrap and keep them away from the world. So, it all comes down to being a good role model.

That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to what we’re showing our children. Silly things like only arguing away from your children or bad habits at the dinner table, all shape the environment your child is growing up in. By being a positive role model and demonstrating good social skills, whether it’s kindness, patience, or respect, you’re giving your child a strong foundation to build on.

This is a tough one, no parent wants to constantly correct their child. It’s a quick way to make them shut down (which is exactly why #1 on this list is so important). But teaching your child social skills isn’t enough, you have to reinforce them. And I know from experience how hard that can be.

For me, my biggest struggle has always been eating habits. I’ve spent most of my life stopping and starting diets, never sticking to a healthy routine. Because of that, my kids picked up bad habits around food and health too. If I had been stronger, if I had reinforced healthy habits in myself, I could have set a better example for them. And that’s the key here, reinforcement matters. The habits and behaviors you fail to reinforce can stick with your child for life.

To make social skills stick, you have to follow through. That might mean verbally correcting them, physically showing them how to fix something, or even allowing another trusted adult to step in. It’s not about nitpicking, it’s about guiding them toward habits that will serve them well long after childhood.

Related: 10 Life Lessons Every Grandparent Should Pass On to Their Grandchildren

This is the most important point on this list. Knowing where the line is with your child, when to push, and when to step back, is absolutely vital. A little push-back is normal, but pushing too hard can cause real harm. And the tough part is that sometimes kids won’t tell you outright when they’re struggling.

Worst still, if your kid doesn’t have the right communication skills, they might just shut down instead. And trust me, if you get this wrong, if you push when your child is fragile but hiding it, it’s incredibly hard to recover from and can turn you into a bag of nerves.

Teaching social skills is a process, and some concepts will be harder for your child to grasp than others. The key is to make learning enjoyable, not stressful. The better your child can communicate, and the better you can listen to them, the easier it is to recognize when they’ve had enough. Social skills are meant to help them thrive, not overwhelm them. Keep that in mind, and you’ll find the right balance between encouragement and understanding.